Titel eingeben (mindestens drei Zeichen)

  
Vielleicht noch eine Stunde dann wird wieder wie jeden tag um diese zeit alles um uns herum verschwimmen. dann werden die konturen unscharf und wer dann noch sagen kann, was schwarz war und was weiß, der versteht was von twilight.

Who will try to brake the chain? Who will try to start again? Who will try to heal the blind? Who will try to turn the tide? Who will try to end this reign? Who will try to jump this train? Who will dare, to do what's right? Who must die to end this fight?

I hope its me, i hope its you, to find a hole to pull as through, I hope its you, I hope its me to break theses chains, and set us free. Set us free!
   
 

life's kinda wonderwheel, isn't it?

 

you can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks or even months over-analyzing a situation,
trying to put the pieces together,
justifying what could've, would've happened.

or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on.

  

  

beq

So. . .   it has been a long time since I posted

something 'real'. But things are complicated at the moment. Life is complicated right now. And I do knew that I immediately had to change some things in my life. for instance some friendships. or what I called friendship all the time. These people were not good for me. They supposed to be my friends but they weren't there when I needed them.

This was the most confusing thing the past few weeks.

Another thing -that made me very happy by the way- was, that I haven't spent any thought for you. I just forgot you for about 1 or 2 weeks.

And that was just awesome. Because I was happy! Just happy. I never felt a feeling like this. But a few days ago I realised that I still miss you very much. But actually I don't care bout that anymore. I'm on the best way to forget you and I think that's not bad. Even if it still seems crazy to me. I feel very confident about that it's good.
And yes, I get to know a diffrent part of you right now. The part that I never expected but it's okay 'cause I can't change the things anymore. I think it's better for you to be so far away from me right now 'cause I'm absolutely not happy about the things that I've been told. I'm kinda angry.

  

 

okeisch,

  
is it okay that my life is just like a movie? running inside of my head. and starting again. and again. and again.


but that's the way that I live like since I lost you. Even when I know that it's not okay. I just live like this. And I can't tell anybody why. Maybe it's because I was - correction: I am depending on you. All the time.
This is the way it is and maybe the way it's meant to be. I truly have no idea why I'm still depending on you because like I found out you did stupid things to me.
I wonder why I'm still loving you. But like I said: animation is not just for children, it's also for adults who take drugs.
So maybe I'm still a child or I'm already an adult and you are my drug- correction: you were my drug.
You were


 

  

we all have pain, we all have sorrow

 
 
I woke up that morning and had no idea why. I opened my eyes and nothing was lying next to me. I felt completly inanimate even though my heart is still beating. Like this house I'm cold, I'm empty. Because there is nothing inside that's worthy.

I swore to myself to accept it. As good as I can. But now -look at me - I'm worthless.
You are just a shaddow that is lasting on my life.

And I don't know what I am searching for. Which way shall I go? I'm not able to forget. But why? I would love to hate you but my love is to big.

I don't wanted to think of you. Believe my, I tried.
I wanted to end this all

but this time is not deletable.


How deep do I have to fall to wake up without you on my mind?


 How many days have to be drowned until the very last image of you in my head is gone.
I wanna be able to restart. But when?
Tell me.. when? 

  

games?

That's just a tired game. But will it ever stop? How will this all play out? Out of sight out of mind. By now we should know how to communicate instead of coming to blows.
We're on a roll and there ain't no stopping us now. We're burning under control isn't it strange how we're all burning under the same sun?

By now we say it's a war for peace. And it's just the same old game but do we really want to play it?
We could close our eyes - but it'll be still there.
We could say it's us against them.
We can try but nobody wins.

Gravity has got a hold on us all and we try to put it out. But it's a growing flame
And it's using fear as fuel. It's burning down our name and it wont take too long.
Cause words are burning same but who we gonna blame now?
  

I feel so alone but what can I do?

if I had the chance to meet you, talk to you, even if it was just 1 sentence, I would tell you that I hate you just because of the fact that you were in contact with her everytime and always when I asked you if it's more than just friendship you told me that it's not. And I hate you for lying to me in that way. For looking into my eyes and tell me that it's not. umm I guess this was more than 1 sentence - but who cares. I'll never meet you.

  

Kathamaus, du bist zu süß!

 
 
"Ich heirate deinen Bruder,
                                     dann bist du meine Schwägerin
und ich bin für immer bei dir."


 

wo bin ich?

Ich weiß nicht, was ich gemacht hab. Oder ob ich das alles mag, was ich angefangen hab. Aber irgendwas sagt mir, ich soll rennen. Und honey, du weißt wie ich ticke. Alles oder nichts. Da waren so Geräusche in meinem Kopf, ganz dünne, ruhige Stimmen haben geflüstert. Sie haben gesagt, dass ich gehen soll und das beenden. Und ich hab mich selbst dabei erwischt, wie ich den Stimmen auch noch zugehört hab. Psycho? Ja ich denk schon!


Weil ich nicht weiß, wer ich bin. Weil ich nicht weiß, wer ich ohne dich bin. Und ich weiß nicht, ob ich jemals wieder ne Hand halten kann, die nicht deine ist. Auch wenn ich dich eigentlich hassen will.. ich liebe dich. Und ich hass auch sie nicht, weil ich sie so sehr liebe. Sie hat es probiert, auf meinen Platz zu gehen. Und sie hats geschafft.


  

summer 2012

With the day I get the chance to move to my dreamland - I promise I'll never ever come back.
... and that's the only reason why I will leave and visit you my dearest beloved soul-sister. I miss you. I miss your encouragements and I miss your smile (: I can't wait 'till you're back home safely. So that we can set up a time to skype. like you said: "for in Christ, we truly are sisters!" So if we won't meet again on earth, then in heaven ♥

  

It could be only you and me.

Every new beginning comes from another beginning's end.
 
I wish you were a little smaller not just small but really short.
So I could put you in my pocket and carry you around the world.
  

In case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening and a very good night (:

Sometimes nothing is more pointless than life.
But you just can't do something against it.

I'm losing what I don't deserve.

another stupid post that shows my boredom :D

 
crazy shit. YES I DID!

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